why should I use divorce mediation?

Mediation Fact Sheet:


With a skilled mediator and a bit of co-operation from the couple involved, mediation has some key benefits over using a traditional family lawyer:

It can be quicker. No letters going back and forth (and costing you a packet) – you can talk face to face with the support of the mediator.  Mediation usually lasts for between two and five sessions, each of about an hour and a half. However, the time it takes depends on how complicated the issues are.

Children benefit. If their parents are resolving any issues relating to the divorce or break up by searching for solutions together, this has got to be better than firing off demands spurred on by the family lawyer, who may well have your best interests at heart but what about the long term implications, and the effects on the kids?  Getting divorced is like giving birth – the focus is often on the actual event rather than the years that will follow.

Less stress. Solicitors letters can often feel threatening when you are not used to legal language, and going to court is a very stressful and usual unpleasant experience.  The mediation process allows you to avoid all that.

Cost – it’s usually cheaper.  Time in mediation is usually charged at much less than time with a lawyer, and that’s even without needing to go to court.  You can also choose how much you do yourself (providing necessary financial information for example) or bring in other professionals if you need them (financial planners, divorce coaches) – depending on your budget.  People going through mediation often feel that they have more control over the costs and also the process itself.

The Government wants you to use mediation.

In the UK, If you are not able to resolve your divorce or break up without getting professional help, then the Government doesn’t want you blocking up the courts so they now insist all couples at least find out about mediation – via a MIAM (Mediation Information Assessment Meeting) – before they let you to go to court over any divorce related issues.

In many States in America and other countries around the world, Mediation is recognised as a good way to stop blocking up the overloaded court systems, and with far better outcomes for those who still need to co-parent, or not spend thousands on financial arguments that would be so much cheaper to just settle early on.


BE AWARE – some lawyers and well-meaning friends will tell you that you can’t use mediation if your are in an abusive relationship of any kind. This is JUST NOT TRUE!

You can do online mediation, use break-out rooms so you don’t even have to see your spouse. And the court process is often a playground for narcissists and doesn’t give you always the level of support you deserve. You’ll need to use specialist mediators for this work but they do exist so never close the door on this as an option.


Creator of Best Way To Divorce. International Divorce Divorce Strategist and TEDx Speaker.
Member since:
6th March 2022
Last Login:
15th June 2024

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