Understanding The Modern Approaches To Dating *

Understanding The Modern Approaches To Dating *

There are lots of people out there who have been away from the dating scene for quite some time. Typically, this is because you were in a long-term relationship, but things fell through.


Whether you’ve been through a bitter divorce or an amicable break-up, you’re going to think about getting back on the horse at some point. The same goes for individuals who have just decided to stay single for a long time. Eventually, you may reach a point in your life where you want to find someone. 

So, if you step onto the dating scene for the first time in a few years, then you’ll be surprised by what you see. Attitudes and approaches to dating have changed dramatically in the last ten or twenty years. The last ten years especially have seen massive shifts in the way people view the dating landscape. 

As a result, you can feel lost and confused in this modern era. Your old approach to dating is just that, old! You’ll find it hard to meet people or connect with others if you don’t understand the modern way of doing things. So, that’s what this article is all about – understanding the modern approaches to dating. 

 

Online dating is the norm

Rewind to ten or twenty years ago, and online dating was almost seen as a taboo thing. You kind of looked down on people who tried it, it seemed like something only desperate people did. Plus, there was the worry of who you were actually meeting online. Nowadays, attitudes have dramatically shifted. Online dating is probably the number one way for people to find someone. Everyone tries it, there are so many sites to use, and the safety surrounding this method is better than ever. Websites put things in place to ensure that you have to provide concrete proof of who you are before you agree to meet someone. This stops catfishing incidents, or worse. 

The reality is that people don’t go out and talk to randomers like they used to. This was how most people met someone, you’d go out for drinks, spot someone in the room, and get talking. It still happens a lot, but most people prefer to do all of this online. So, if you’re looking to get back in the dating game, then consider signing up to some online dating sites. 

Dating apps offer quick convenience

Alongside online dating, we have dating apps. Things like Tinder and Bumble really took off in the last decade or so. Now, people of all ages use these apps to connect to other singles nearby. It’s similar to online dating, but with more convenience. You can use the app on your phone wherever you want, and it matches you to people based on your location. 

For this reason, lots of people use these apps for quick flings. There’s still the chance to meet your soulmate, but it offers an easy way to enjoy a fast dating experience with multiple partners. 

As it happens, that brings us nicely onto the next point!

Quick flings aren’t frowned upon

That’s right, there’s no shame in wanting to move between different partners one after the other. Before, you would be shamed for doing this. You were perceived as frivolous or slutty. Now, things are different, especially for women. There’s a change in attitudes where people now think why the hell can’t I see who I want and not have any strings attached to the relationship? What’s the problem with it? If the other person is on the same page, then why bother trying to force it into something it’s not? 

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a quick fling or two. In fact, some people feel as though they need something like this after being in a long relationship. Particularly if you had a bad break-up and almost felt trapped. This can be a way of releasing a lot of tension and letting yourself feel free. Of course, you can always settle down again if you want. But, some people have tried that, and they now want to try something new. 

Family opinions don’t matter as much

This is a huge shift, in my opinion. For years, family opinions seemed to dictate who you’d date. You’d be terrified of what your family thought, and it would stop you from pursuing people who were pretty much perfect for you. 

Today, there’s still a little bit of this around, but it’s nowhere near as big as it used to be. Even in some cultures, like with Asian or Indian dating, singles no longer let their parents tell them who they can and can’t date. It’s like we’ve finally woken up and realized that we are adults who control our own lives! Sure, you want your parents to get along with the person you choose, but it’s no longer essential. Most of the time, if the person loves you and is a nice human being, then even the strictest of parents come around eventually. 

 

Women can ask out men and not feel embarrassed

Lastly, there was a massive taboo around the idea of a woman asking out a man. It seemed like an absolutely crazy thing to do. How can a woman ask a man on a date?! That’s not how it works, right? 

Well, this is how we used to think back in the day. Times have changed, and women can comfortably ask men out on dates without feeling embarrassed. In fact, a lot of men love it as it shows that you’re interested in them. Likewise, your fellow women see it as a power move, so they respect it. The bottom line is that if you like someone and want to go out on a date, then don’t wait around for them to make the first move! 

To those of you that have been away from the dating scene for years, all of these things seem outrageous. But, they show just how far we’ve come in terms of our attitudes to relationships and dating. By learning about the way things have changed, I hope it helps you navigate the strange and scary world of modern dating. 

 

* This is a contributed post and may contain affiliate links

suzyMiller

Creator of Best Way To Divorce. International Divorce Divorce Strategist and TEDx Speaker.
Member since:
6th March 2022
Last Login:
9th July 2024

Related Articles

Sue Lee Hypnotherapy

Sue Lee Hypnotherapy Your Catalyst for Change I am the lady who takes away the pain – whether it’s mental, emotional or physical.   Divorce and family separation hurts. That pain can be emotional. It can be confusion over your identity and self-esteem. The trauma can even manifest as physical pain. As a dedicated Hypnotherapist, […]

Read More
4 Min Read

Inner Lyght Evolution: Sarah C. Langford

Read More
4 Min Read

Schools need to support teachers through family separation.

Read More
4 Min Read

I'm doing all the parenting admin and my Ex contributes no money - but still wants half my assets!

Do you have the main responsibilities for the practicalities of parenting (buying clothes/making sure uniform is washed/dinner money) post divorce? So called 50/50 co-parenting still usually means one parent is responsible for the everyday admin. Also – there is one parent who can’t just suddenly get a full time job miles away because they are […]

Read More
4 Min Read

Your Relationship Guru: Celia Conrad

Your Relationship Guru: Celia Conrad Helping you heal from the pain of break-up and personal loss and create positive lasting change. Celia Conrad is a relationship expert. She has a diploma in relationship coaching, is an accredited break-up and divorce coach practitioner and master practitioner (specialising in domestic abuse), a certified grief educator and certified […]

Read More
4 Min Read

Parenting Conflict Resolution Expert: Jenni Rock Coaching

Jenni Rock Coaching Parenting Conflict Resolution Expert I help those parents to escape the war that started with their Divorce Proceedings I spent 15 years living with a very challenging person who taught me the kind of relationship I never wanted to have again. Once that ended, we had to co-parent as best we could. […]

Read More
4 Min Read

Does your Workplace have a Separating Families Policy for Divorcing Parents?

Did you know that in a 2014 study for the Nashville Business Journal, they found that in the 6 months leading up to and during the year of a divorce, an employee’s productivity is reduced by 40% and will suffer on some level for the next 7 years. Not only that, but there is an impact on the […]

Read More
4 Min Read

Infidelity? It’s none of my business

The shock of the breakup was so sudden, so extreme, that normal behaviour would have seemed inappropriate     The events that lead up to it should have left clues, but they didn’t register: The bank letters addressed in his name that I didn’t open because I’d learned that it was, apparently, none of my […]

Read More
4 Min Read

Suzy’s Story

A Strange Gift: Unplanned Solo Parenting   It’s a January morning in 2003 and I can’t bring myself to take the kids to school. What will I say when someone asks me “How are you?” The answer, you see, is just not the stuff of polite conversation.   “W E L L… My partner of […]

Read More
4 Min Read

How to deal with the 7 stages of relationship breakdown recovery

Read More
4 Min Read