Hoping our call put you on a clearer path of action Paul. I recommend that you create the draft co-parenting plan in dTour.Life based on right now; 3 years time; and then when your child is 6 or 7. If you need some support, I'm sure Jenni Rock will be able to help. I realise that right now you have some legal issues to contend with, but the sooner you have that draft plan, the sooner you have an evidenced clear suggestion for a court to consider.
I am the 'coparenting with a toxic ex' specialist. My honest answer is that we never give up, but we learn how to manage the expectations and emotions around this situation. Your baby girl is going to grow up and wonder why you gave up, and that will shape her opinion on men along with whatever her mother tells her. I would love to have a chat with you to see if I can help you to cope with this and maintain your vital position in her life as her father. You can book for a chat on my scheduling link <a href="https://calendly.com/jennirock1/coparenting-without-conflict" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/jennirock1/coparenting-without-conflict</a>
This may not have been clear - it isn\'t walking away from the relationship with my ex, but with the relationship with my 16 month old daughter.
I live in the US, my ex has now gone and file a court order on me, limiting the amount of time I can spend with my daughter when I come to the UK. I was hoping we could sort things out in mediation, she would not compromise on a lot of things that I was advised are unreasonable. Then she proceeded to refuse to commit to arbitration and stalled for months. Now after the order, which is supposedly based on the fear I would take her out of the UK for half the year (which is impossible anyway as she doesn't have American citizenship as her mother will not allow me to file for her). My ex will not talk, and when she reads exchanges, she simply responds based on how things feel or what she fears - even though I may not have suggested anything along the lines of what she is responding to. She has misunderstood my offers and requests repeatedly and spins them into harmful things which I would never do - like taking my daughter out of the country without her mother's permission. I'm at a loss and at the point where I feel like even if we went to court, I'm dealing with someone who is so detached from reality, it will be 18 years of torture that will be harmful for my ex, for me, but particularly my daughter. I've run out of steam after almost 6 months of obstacles, stagnation, and obfuscation. Does anyone have any encouraging words or wise counsel about knowing when to stop? It would be so much easier if my daughter was 6-7 because I know she would ask questions and drive some practicality in everything.