To Do List for Ryan (and some of you might want a reminder!)

Posted By: Suzy Miller on 14/10/2025 at 12:23

Many of you in this group may also find this action plan useful!

To Do List:

-Ask your STBX if she will agree to a mediation about the coparenting, and then if she’s happy, to continue mediation to resolve the financial agreement. Let her know that with Joanne she can do shuttle mediation – your spouse doesn’t even have to see your face!

-Talk to Joanne the mediator and ask her to contact your STBX to discuss the way she can help with the coparenting plan and the finances.

-Create a coparenting plan (there is a template in dTour.life) so you have a basis for discussion at the mediation. Allow your STBX to feel heard, acknowledge her concerns. Agree on what you can but don’t expect to agree on everything. What you want is for her to feel confident enough to then continue into the financial discussions.

-As soon as you can, create with Henry a couple of ways to split the finances (don’t get hung up on child support – keep that as separate element as it will change over time and is not something you need to put into a legally binding consent order) – you just need to offer options where your spouse can see she is going to be ok in the short and the longterm.

-Move from a very limited (one or two sessions max) about the coparenting plan (you can come back to it later) and move onto the financial agreement.
Anything you don’t agree on, an arbitrator can cover those points.
Make it clear that there is no need to go to court, with this quicker cheaper options available.

-Make sure. you log all responses re. acceptance or not of mediation and arbitration. Never get answers verbally – always in writing.
Remember to praise your spouse for their good decisions and their keenness to get things wrapped up. Use the word ‘thank you’ for those specific elements. It will help them have confidence in what your are proposing.