Stbx wants to apply for Occupational order
Posted By: Daniela on 14/09/2022 at 10:43
Hi. Suzy. Today my stbx approached me saying : ” There’s no way we can agree on the living arrangements, is it?”
I said ;” We can talk about it.” He said: ” But I’m not moving out”. I said we can talk via Mediation. He said he doesn’t want to . When I asked him why, he didn’t know what to say, and he refused to give me a reason. I asked him to book a Mediation and I will attend but he refused. I said I might consider moving out but our son will live with me and we agree on the schedule. He said he doesn’t agree that our son should live with me… so then he wants the court to decide. He wants to know what I want to do otherwise he will apply for Occupational Order.
How do I go about this?
I’ve pretty much answered that in the last comment
Are there any specific questions that you can advise me to prepare to ask the lawyer please? I will think about the questions too.
PS. I would focus on making sure you have a strong case for proving you are the main carer for your child, and explore the options that could leave you free to remain in the flat. I would speak to the police in advance as already suggested. Just remember, he is the father of your child and he needs reassurance that you are not cutting him out of your life. But his insistence on remaining in the flat is making things very difficult and you need to protect yourself from any legal action he is threatening to take.
I'm sure you can manage to move out without there being a scene. You don't have to make a big announcement in advance. I think you are creating issues that would only exist if you make them happen. I'll email you the lawyer's contact details so you can get some advice but leaving - if that's viable - would be the least conflict-ridden option so you could move on with your life.
Thank you very much. I am considering moving out. However I am scared that when I physically get out to move with our son , he will take him away from my hands and manipulate him so he can scream for daddy... and make a big scene... I still don't know how to do this and it's making me very anxious... Can you give me some practical ideas as to how I can physically get out please?.... (I would need to explain to my son first that we will move , but stbx will say to him "No, you will stay with daddy....etc."..Our son will be so confused and anxious, not knowing who is he gonna stay with...etc
I’ll give you an email intro. She can help you self represent if your ex drags you into court. But you are the main carer with a fair and reasonable proposed co-parenting plan. So really unless he can prove he is doing the majority of the parenting he won’t succeed. Which is why financial evidence and diary evidence should make his claims unsuccessful. But in the meantime, think seriously about moving out. That will actually help keep the peace as then he will need to work with you rather than against you in order to maintain the generous amount of time you are happy for him to spend with his son - providing he doesn’t keep using your child as a weapon in his personal war with you.
Can the lawyer help me to demonstrate how I am the main carer and provider for my child ? My worry is that even if i want to move he will stop me from taking our son to live with me when I move. I don't know how to do this? Can you give me the contact for the lawyer pls? Thank you
I think you should talk with the lawyer I mentioned if you want to get him to move out as per previous comments - it will be difficult for him to get an occupation order as you are the one who has reported him to the police - not the other way around - and your name is on the lease agreement. And you can demonstrate that you are the main carer and provider for your child. Or you could just move out and avoid a load of hassle. At this stage - since your landlords are no longer supportive of you being the sole leaseholder and deciding who gets to live in your flat - moving out would be the least conflict ridden choice. Possibly also the least harmful to your child.