Options outside of court

Posted By: Daniela on 17/01/2023 at 16:41

Hi Suzy. I was researching for options outside court and just wanted to ask you:

1. Would a Collaborative lawyer be better than applying to court for Child arrangements order and Finances? And then Arbitration, is is like your private court hearing with your private judge, but quicker and cheaper than going to court?

2. Does ex have to get a collaborative lawyer too, if I go down that route? What if he refuses to get a lawyer? Can we go to Arbitration without a lawyer? (in case he doesn’t want to get one)

3. I want to look into Mediation and I understand that Mediation works best if you have a lawyer who is a qualified mediator. What and how do I need to prepare for Mediation for Child arrangements and Finances.
(Ex is currently spending a lot of money on playing the Lottery -all kinds…)

Thank you

Latest Comments 2

Re. Mediator who is a qualified lawyer - that is not true. Where did you hear that? A mediator can’t give you legal advice as they have to remain impartial, so even a lawyer who is also a mediator cannot be your lawyer and your mediator at the same time. Has your ex left the flat yet? That needs to be your focus. If he is refusing, then you may as well tell Child Support Maintenance that you’re divorced and he’s not contributing. They may deduct a token amount from his benefits. And if he gets a job they’ll already have him in their system.

17:22 17/01/2023
suzy Miller

Hi Daniela. With no assets involved and your spouse on benefits, I would question the wisdom of you spending time and money on trying to get the courts to talk your ex to pay you a portion of his benefits. Why not just contact the Child Maintenance Support and let them deal with it (though you may need to chase them) - unless your Ex offers to contribute financially? However, if your ex forces you to go to court over child arrangements, you could potentially as the court to specify an amount he needs to pay should he get a job in the future. You could get clarification on that from a lawyer IF that situation arises. The Dispute Resolution section in the Tool Kit explains the options but you don’t need to spend money on collaborative law - mediation is fine - and that is where you can agree the basics of a simple Consent Order (re finances) and also a co-parenting plan (if he will cooperate) Only if your ex tries to force court action, then an arbitrator would be quicker and probably cheaper - but your ex needs to agree to use one. Which would be sensible for him to do.

17:14 17/01/2023
suzy Miller
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