Posted By: Daniela on 10/02/2023 at 15:27
Hi Suzy. After our MIAM, this is the reply i got from the mediator.
I am a bit anxious… to me it looks like a silent warning to prepare that ex may want to claim on my flat from abroad. Otherwise why would she mention it…. (i know , legal aid but still)
How do i go about it? I want to protect my flat. Shall i officially donate it to my dad until we have a consent order signed?
I’m stressed out now…
Ok. Thanks a lot for your advice.
Hi - I already responded to this via text. In response to your question about telling your ex you could claim on his inheritance… That could be something to help him realise why a clean break is necessary. But allow Joanne the mediator to help you communicate so your Ex doesn't feel he's being bullied or threatened.
A spreadsheet with monthly costs now. Add in school trips - uniforms - holidays. This is useful: <a href="https://www.lv.com/life-insurance/cost-of-raising-a-child" target="_blank">https://www.lv.com/life-insurance/cost-of-raising-a-child</a> Estimate your costs - you are on a low income with no financial support from Ex. You need your pension and house. Their is no negotiation if you clearly summarise what your potential costs are.
What the mediator said is very good news. If your Ex wants to go after the property, he's going to have a very difficult job for a start because he's not providing any income for you and you're having to support the family single-handedly. So why should you give him a portion of the house when you're going to need everything for your child, is the position you are in. He might potentially have a case in law, but as Joanne said, you would be able to get legal aid so it would cost him a lot of time and money to try and get it and he'll probably won't get anything that covers his legal bills at the end of it all. So I wouldn't worry about it too much. Though legal aid has pitfalls so still needs to be used carefully. But as I've always said, make it clear the cost of running a Home, and bringing up a child, the fact that you have no pensions, so you're having a house in another country is effectively the only thing you'll have as security when you get older et cetera et cetera. Just put a really good case so that any lawyer who advises your husband will see that it's not worth him fighting over it. But if he does, no worries because you've got legal aid. You can't move it into a trust or anything now because it would be deliberately hiding assets and that's not a good thing. So just have a fruitful Mediation agreeing on the co parenting plan. When that's all done, suggest that your ex agrees to a consent order so that you can't chase him for money later. And in that consent order, he won't be chasing you for the house. If he disagrees, then leave him to it and just get on with your life.