Holiday with ex and change in parenting plan

Posted By: Daniela on 27/07/2023 at 22:15

The option of you having our son on Monday and Tue while he’s attending school, does not work, because the plan was made as you were living local. Since you are moving 2.5hrs away, you can still spend time with our son on your every other weekends after school Fri until Sun 5:45pm.. This part of the plan works. When you will be living locally then we can reinstate the original plan.

I’m sorry i just realised i haven’t sent you the address i’m staying with our son while on holiday in ……
Address: xyz…..

As you are moving tomorrow, i would need to know your new residential address, and also before i come back from abroad on 3rd Aug, i would need to know the adresses where and when, our son will be staying while on holiday with you.


Latest Comments 5

If you are prepared for your son to be begging to let daddy come into your flat and to say no, go into that cold van and wait till he takes you to school - fine. If you are prepared to have him say with no warning he can't come down as the van won't start, and not make you late for work as you have an immediate secure backup - then fine. If you know where your ex lives if he takes your son for an overnight at the weekend - that's fine too. If you really believe he's going to stick to the plan, fine. But if he won't give you an address of where your son will be overnight, and you don't have a backup if he gets stuck in traffic on his way down because that's pretty likely, and you are not able to be ruthless about sending your child out into the rain and the cold to sit in a van, or can't be sure you can have him ready for school with breakfast (because he can't get dressed and fed in a van that is not actually a camper van unless there are cooking facilities/fridge/heating - so you will be responsible for getting your son ready for school especially if your ex arrives late as is highly likely) - then fine. If you are prepared for all of that. Or you can decide that you don't want to be in that situation. It's up to you. You have the choice. The plan was agreed based upon him being local where none of these issues arise.

05:21 28/07/2023
suzy Miller

I was just thinking: even if ex doesn't have our son during the week on school time, if i drop my child to a friend at 7am to go to work , it's the same as if ex would pick him up at 7am to get him ready for school. Our child would still have to wake up before 7am. Many of my colleagues' kids do that, as we start work at 7:45am. So would you still see any issue if ex would take him to school Mon and Tue morning? ( maybe he will take him before school to his auntie that lives in the same town as me . I don't know. It was only my assumption that he will have him in the van, as i didn't ask the details).

00:57 28/07/2023
Daniela

Well that’s a relief! So if he’s camping then what about the sleeping arrangements? Especially if his mum’s coming. If they are at campsites and have a tent then fine - but he will have to book those in. He will have dates and addresses for them. If he claims he’s going to wing it - that is very suspicious. It’s not right to be parked up any place with a young child with no access to electricity, proper toilets/washing facilities.

22:38 27/07/2023
suzy Miller

The van is insulated and floored, has access to the driver seat and 1 sliding side door and double back doors. It has cab windows. And a vent on the roof. He has not clearly said he will be sleeping in the van, but there was a mention of camping from my son so i am assuming he will go in the van. I'm not sure how to ask him in the right way.

22:31 27/07/2023
Daniela

Just a tweak: because the plan was made on the basis that you were living locally. Has he already told you he's using his old van as a camper van? If he has, it's worth clearly stating something like: Although travelling to campsites in the van is fine, please confirm that you will be sleeping in a tent or other accommodation, and not in the van? The vehicle is not a camper van. It does not have insulation or heating or suitable ventilation. It also does not have a separate bed for our son to sleep in, and also your mother if she is joining you on the holiday. If the back of the van does not have access into the cab area, so that the only escape is through the back doors, that is also a safety issue. It is not safe or appropriate to make our son sleep in the back of a van that is not a proper camper van. Please confirm that at no point will you be spending any nights with Benjamin in your van.

22:24 27/07/2023
suzy Miller
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