Ex’s response to my solicitor letter
Posted By: Daniela on 24/01/2023 at 17:56
Hi Suzy.
From what he said in response, it doesn’t look like he has any intention to move.
I have viewed a flat today and i’ll wait to see if my application will be accepted so i have cancelled the lock fitting for now.
Ex still refuses to talk or cooperate with the Splitsmart plan, he keeps saying that the schedule in the app is the plan….
Do you think i should start asking him what is his plan moving forward after we live separate?
(Shall i mention that i’m thinking of moving out and to look at how the coparenting schedule will look like after that? Or will that ruin everything?)
I have so many fears (what if this or that?) that i don’t even know where to start or to do next if i find a place to move.
I know Ruth keeps saying i need to be open and honest with him and to keep him informed… etc…
So i’m so confused of how to do things anymore…
1. What if i move and then he will try to get an “Lives with order” to get the child to live with him, or with both and i lose the UC paying me the whole rent…
2. If my application for a flat is approved, when shall i move? What can the landlord do if i move without notice?
3. Ex will know i’ve moved and without a Child arrangement order in place, he can keep the child and not return it…
4. Do you think i should email ex and ask him about his plans living separate and that the co-parenting arrangemts will be a bit different than what are now while we live together…. i don’t even know what to say and how.
What do you think?
I hope you can help.
Thank you very much
As I've always suggested, until you live separately your Ex will not take the co-parenting plan seriously. After you move (or the landlord forces him to move) then, he will take it seriously. The parenting plan proves that you are not stopping your ex from seeing his son - and that you have allowed generous provision for him to spend time with his son. If he refuses to accept that co-parenting plan then how will he spend time with his son? He can't just randomly decide when and how without agreement with you - unless you let him. Which will not be sustainable.
Suzy Miller
Hi Daniela You can be open about the fact that if he won't leave the flat, then you will leave. Then he will be responsible for getting the landlords to approve him and paying all the rent and bills. You don't have to tell him when you have found somewhere else or when you are moving, as he'll know as soon as that is done. Afterwards. You may want to talk to your current landlord and say because they won't evict your ex husband, that you are therefore forced to leave and he is currently not working - so make it clear that they may have an issue there and let them confirm that they are prepared for that. You must give notice - but you can tell them that you are only giving notice because they are forcing you to live with a squatter (which is what is happening) - or, they can make him leave so you can continue being a good tenant. Give them that option. But yes, if you don't give notice you will lose your deposit. Talk to them.
Suzy Miller