Child sickness

Posted By: Daniela on 11/06/2023 at 09:25

Hi Suzy. My son got a cough about 3 weeks ago, i started first. We tried to treat it, it slowed down a bit but it gotten a bit worse again. My cough is not better either.
My ex keeps saying that it’s because everything that belongs to the child smells off/musty/mouldy/of moisture when he goes to his dad. And now he wants the child GP’s details to take him.
I will tell him where the child’s GP is, but shall i say i will ring and make appointment or shall i let him do it?

Ex has kept saying many times that my son’s belongings smell of mould/musty etc when he picks him up.
I do not see any mould or moisture in my flat. I have the windows open all the time. The flat was repainted before i moved in.
The only difference is that i keep my son’s things on the sofa in the kitchen dinner.
And i noticed my water from the kitchen tap when i turn it on and goes down the drain, sometimes there’s a smell of sewige….
I have a water filter and my son drink only from the filter.
I’m just worried ex might stop me from having my son in my flat because of this….

Latest Comments 3

His responses re the iPad - are they in writing? Have you taken back up copies / they can’t be deleted? Is your ex careful to use non-biological washing powder and ensure there is nothing triggering your sons symptoms when he visits him? Good for both of you via the app to reduce pressures on his immune system. Cut out dairy products (cows milk) and wheat for a while as they both cause mucus production. The summer holidays will give him a chance to recover.

06:48 12/06/2023
suzy Miller

The flat does not have any visible mould or damp, it has been repainted in March before I moved in. I have invited one of my friends to come and smell and have a look and they cannot smell or see anything. This is what he said to me: " I’m wondering why our son’s cough is still so bad. Last 2 times he went back home with you his cough had almost gone. When he comes back he is coughing like crazy, it’s been a month now. When he comes from your place everything from his hair to his water bottle smells of moisture/musty/mouldy smell. I’m wondering if whatever is in your flat is affecting his lungs? Everything has a musty smell. Every item he has smells off. Even his tin for lunch smells musty, his book bag, the books, everything that goes to you flat smells. This was my reply to him: " According to the GP info and NHS website Children can commonly have around 8 viral infections per year. It can last around 3 weeks or more. Each episode increases the immunity of the child and usually no treatment is required. Child's cough is about 3 weeks now, as he got it after me. His general condition is good, there's no fever or rash, he's playing as normal etc. This is about the 2nd time this year he had the cough. Generally his coughs last around 4-6weeks before they clear up completely and in 6 years he's never required any antibiotics or interventions. Antibiotics do not work on viruses anyway. He is in an environment now where he will pick up more viral infections due to school where i regularly see children attending with green snot coming out of their nose and cough. I am still coughing too. I suspect, that as from previous years, this cough will settle in time if the child's immune system is supported. It is also suggested on the NHS website that inhaling steam, lemon and honey can help soothe the throat. I know that you have a Natural Remedies comprehensive book which has remedies for cough. Maybe you could have a look and see what else that we haven't tried so far is suggested there and let me know as well. By all means if you think this is an emergency you can take him to the GP at .......... " I have not reported the concerns regarding our son seeing inappropriate video , to the police or anyone yet. I have asked Jenni for advice and i wrote to ex in the app about this in a "no blame" way. He was shocked to find out this has happened and said he will change the passwords to his phone and his mum's ipad and he will not let our son watch anything with grandma and only with his permission and supervision. All texts in the parenting app and I sent him an email with the same. So i left it at that.

22:32 11/06/2023

Hi Daniela. It sounds like your Ex is bullying you. Obviously you will do what's necessary to keep the flat healthy for both of you. Your ex is not invited in, so that shouldn't be anything to worry about. If there is actual mould, then the landlord must get rid of it. But it sounds like your Ex is winding you up. The GP details should be in your coparenting app - under shared contacts? He can take your son to the GP if he wants to - he should already have the details. You don't do it for him. He's quite capable of booking it in if that's what he wants to do. But during HIS time - not yours. Have you reported your concerns already to the police about what you were worried about re. seeing age inappropriate content on phones? Did you give your ex the opportunity to learn about this - speak to the person concerned - or to respond to you in some way so you can evidence that you did make him aware of this issue? It is important that you don't use this to enflame the situation, but that it is 'logged' as a note on your co-parenting diary or plan (preferably both) as a concern that was expressed by you on the assumption that your Ex will ensure that doesn't happen again. Just communication. No blame.

21:50 11/06/2023
suzy Miller
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