Att: Zainab – legal advice through divorce

Posted By: Suzy Miller on 16/02/2026 at 02:33

Hello Zainab – I’m responding via the Secret Divorce Group CHAT as that is how I manage guidance with subscribers and because information for one person is often valuable for all.

Re. Legal support re. Co-parenting – I can introduce you to a lawyer but what is relevant to know is that with young children it’s usual for one parent to be in charge of their everyday needs rather than trying to do 50/50 which can be very destabilising unless you are ‘nesting’ (parents move in and out of the family home while kids stay there all the time). This is not viable unless the parent’s relationship is amicable and respectful.

I highly recommend that the financial agreement is settled and becomes a consent order during the final stage of the divorce process asap as that impacts (is based upon) many of the co-parenting decisions (how far away parents live/schools) the financial decisions – and I recommend a discussion on the co-parenting relationship in mediation before talking about finances – but not getting into a court battle over the details – just accepting there may be areas of disagreement but moving on quickly to agree the finances.

Once finances are agreed that can often change the demands over the co-parenting arrangements and if they are still contested – use an arbitrator to decide for you.

Children should never become pawns in a divorce war – when you work with a financial planner like Henry, their needs will be integral to the cash flow forecasts and the suggested ways to split the finances.

If you want an intro to a lawyer about specific legal aspects of the co-parenting (which comes down to what is in the best interests of the children which is usually to spend time with both parents – doesn’t need to be 50/50 when very young if that is disruptive for them – and if a parent cannot be on their own caring for the children due to behavioural issues then contact can be at an approved supervised contact centre) – confirm here and I’ll do an intro to a lawyer who is also an arbitrator.

But I urge you to get the financial aspects of the divorce done and dusted within 6 months – this webinar on 9 March will be very relevant to your situation: https://bestwaytodivorce.com/fair-settlement-summit/