Answer about dad not taking his son on arranged weekend
Posted By: Suzy Miller on 26/02/2023 at 00:45
You need to decide what happens if the parenting plan (which you have updated on the calendar?) is ignored. Until you move, you can’t really enforce it – but that changes from Wednesday.
Either you just let him do whatever he wants – or you stick to the plan. If in the plan he doesn’t have your son when he should – then he is ignoring the plan. You should make it clear you are not available on your ‘child-free’ days. He is responsible for the childcare if he has to go somewhere. You need to be really boundaried.
You know this.
It’s essential to have in place what you do when this type of thing happens and discuss it at the mediation. Jenni can help you to prepare for this.
Stick to the plan. Be clear. If he refuses to stick to the plan, you could then – once you’ve moved – suggest he either confirms when he absolutely can have your son consistently, or he can go for a defined contact order – whilst he only has your son on days he can definitely stick to.
If he can’t do his weekends – then you could enforce no weekends at all until he can commit. It really can be that simple.
It’s what I did.
I communicated it with compassion. I understood how difficult it was for my kids dad to commit because of his work.
So I just said look, as long as you tell me when you can commit to, even if it’s just one Day a month. Whatever it is as long as you can absolutely commit to it because that’s what the children need is certainty. Strangely, we never discussed it again and he turned up every other weekend without fail.
I can’t promise it will work as smoothly as that for you, but it might.
Thanks Suzy. It went great in the end.... thanks to mediation and Jenni and you. I'll tell you the story on zoom.