amicable divorce steps……
Posted By: vera on 05/07/2026 at 19:34
Hi,
My ex is reluctant to do the form e as he says its not necessary as we are in agreement of our financial split. He has agreed to pay spousal maintenance and go 50 50 on everything, including his monthly wages. I am happy with that, I’m not looking to take his money, I just want to survive so I feel that is fair. He recommends that we only need to do the d81 alongside the consent order. I’m really confused about the steps forward as everyone I speak to says different things. Joanne, during our introductory call recommended form e and before that conversation I thought it was form d81 that we needed to do. Please advise on the best way to proceed with this. I understand that form e provides financial disclosure. Is it silly to proceed without it? I’ve told him that we will need to do at least one meeting with a mediator to get the memorandum of understanding.
Also, my ex, is not happy with me getting a cashflow forecast from Henry as he says he is compliant with the financial split so it not necessary as he is willing to pay the spousal maintenance.
So the first question regarding this is, because he has agreed to the spousal maintenance is there no need to do a financial cashflow forecast as I will be automatically guaranteed spousal maintenance as the split is 50 50 and is fair.
And the next question is, will his promise to pay the spousal maintenance be strong enough for the courts to agree with the spousal maintenance without the cashflow forecast or do I absolutely need the cashflow forecast to convince the courts that I need the money for the health reasons. Or could the courts reject the spousal maintenance even if my husband agrees to it and we have equal money each month?
Thanks in advance. I feel that I am going around in circles and getting no where so any advice is greatly appreciated.
Hi Suzy, Thanks for your response. We have seen each others financials now and we have reached an agreement. Thanks for sending the consent order link later on. Please can you also send the link where we can speak to a solicitor to say that we understand the terms of the agreement. I recall you mentioning this on one of the monthly calls. Thanks so much for your help
vera
Hi V I’ll get that link over to you later today - but just to be clear, without full disclosure (with proof of bank statements etc) then there is no strong foundation for the agreement made. It is not advisable to create a consent order without you both being transparent about the finances. Even if you just have one mediation session (giving the mediator access to the financial info) to create an MOU - that then provides a solid basis for the Consent Order. You can get vouchers for mediation so it won’t cost much as Joanne can get the cost covered by the vouchers. So it may not cost you or your spouse extra and it does the job properly. It is deeply concerning that your spouse does not want to be transparent about his finances - this is a legal obligation. Just saying.
Suzy Miller
Please can you resend the link for applying for the consent order as I cannot seem to find it. Thank you so much.
vera
You mentioned at one stage the option of cheaply talking to a solicitor to ensure the husband knows what he is doing. Please can you provide that information too. Thank you.
vera
Hi Suzy, We have reached a financial agreement so I would appreciate your advice now on the necessary steps needed now to move forward to get the consent order in place. We are currently filing out the D81 form. Thank you kindly, Vera
vera
Hi Suzy, Thank you so much for your speedy and informative response. I really appreciate it.
vera
Hello Vera - hope the following clarifies what to do next: Be absolutely certain that long term (after retirement) your settlement leaves you with an equitable split - the only way to be sure of that is to talk to Henry. You don’t need to fill in a Form E but the information needed (bank statements/pensions etc) is what Henry (and a mediator) need to see to make sure you are agreeing to a fair settlement that the court will also agree to. Although this may not be relevant in your case if someone puts the wrong or false information on the form E then legally you would have a case to overturn a consent or Financial order, but if it’s never filled it in and signed that this was the correct information, then you wouldn’t be able to do that. The D 81 is a summary of that information. It is not the nitty-gritty details of how much money from a bank account has been spent on crypto et cetera. Because of your health issues it is particularly important that you get advice from Henry about what your needs are, and if the agreement that you have with your spouse covers you then that’s fine - but Henry still needs to see the veracity of the information through bank statements and pension information just to make sure that what he’s advising is indeed an equitable split. Your spouse may be completely transparent and that would be fantastic but you only get one chance to do this properly so if your spouse does not want to provide bank statements and other evidence that is a RED FLAG. It’s what everybody does in a divorce so why would you not expect that from him? If he doesn’t want the onerous task of filling in the form E then Henry effectively helps you do that providing your spouse provides the information. The D 81 is a summary of all of that information on one form that will be submitted alongside the draft consent order. It is what’s filled in at the end of the process but that process really does need to include full Financial transparency. So what matters here is not the Form E so much as having access to at least a year of bank statements and other financial information before filling in the D81 and committing to a financial agreement. If your spouse is struggling to accept any of the above then in a mediation session with Joanne she would help him realise that this is definitely what needs to be done.
Suzy Miller