SET THE C.O.M.P.A.S.S. Courage (4min)

COURAGE

How can I be respectful to my Ex when I hate their guts?

Sorry to say this, but it’s OK for your kids to behave with naked raw emotions – but it isn’t OK for you to do this. It’s time to grow up. Every time you slag off your Ex, you are effectively attacking your own children. They are half of that other parent, and they know it.

This is just one of the harsh truths that requires your courage to face up to and take action on.

Another is facing where you are going to live. Sometimes we can’t afford – or a court will not allow due to the way they split the assets – for us to stay in the family home. To even look at alternatives can be agonising. I remember visiting schools I didn’t want my children to go to because I had to consider all the options.

What amazed me was that by facing my fears things didn’t seem quite so grim. In the end, many things didn’t turn out as bad as they could have done, and I believe that is because I didn’t stick my head in the sand and I somehow found the courage to keep my options flexible.

Luckily, when it comes to your Ex, there are ways to change your perception of them that will really serve you. Whether it’s coping strategies learned via a life coach or counsellor/therapist, or it’s full-on ‘learning to forgive’ – which is more hardcore, but the only route that comes with a sense of Peace, and that really works long term – you can find a way that works for you.

And if you stop to ask whether it’s worth making the effort? Just look at your kids (or a photo of them, if that’s the closest you can get) and you’ll have your answer.