Reality: Part 3 (11min)

Best Options, Harsh Truths and Is going to Court a good choice?

Key questions answered, experts on videos to give you a ‘reality check’ and also offer some sound advice.

What are my choices?

You have more choices than you may realise on how to proceed through or to bring an existing divorce or separation situation to a close.

Make the most of the resources in this section, and get clarity on what will work best for you. You are the best person to decide what is worth trying – but don’t dismiss any route simply because you are afraid it might not work. You may be surprised at what you don’t yet know, and how powerful your decisions can be.

When is going to Court a good option?

Some would say ‘Never!’ – but obviously there are times when one parent fails to be reasonable or to put the children first, so using the court system would then be required. But be careful to use it with the help of non-adversarial legal advice (eg. Mediators /Collaborative Lawyers) or use Arbitration, which is like having your own ‘private’ judge.

What’s the worst that can happen?

A badly managed divorce/separation that involves displays of anger by the parents will harm your children. Fact. Many children self-harm as a result of the unhappiness and anger projected via their parents; some attempt suicide. Others seem fine at home but you only need to ask their teachers at school to discover that the separation/divorce is affecting those children in negative ways.

The important thing to remember is that the children are learning from you how to be emotionally healthy adults, and it’s your job to lead by example.

Why should I bother finding a ‘better way’?

You are parents for life, so making an enemy of your Ex is going to add layers of stress and misery to your family’s life over the coming years. Not only will your children suffer, but so will your new partners, extended family members, ever your work colleagues…. the repercussions are endless. Make a decision to avoid as much conflict as possible, and seek the help you need to achieve this.

Busting the divorce myth that anyone in court is interested in ‘your story’.

“A slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury.”