C.A.L.M. SEAS: Motivation (28min)
Carrot and Stick Approach
It may sound odd, but it’s worth consciously motivating yourself – reminding yourself – of what your end goals are.
If you’ve never created a vision board before, don’t worry – you’ll love it! It may even surprise you, as tapping into your subconscious can be revealing. Go with your gut instinct on this.
Step 1: Collect images of what you want your life to be (you can do this digitally but I really encourage you to do this physically. It’s tactile and somehow more ‘connected’ to your values) – collect the images from old magazines or newspapers and cut them out.
Step 2: Put the images together on a large piece of A3 (minimum) sized paper/card. Play around with them. Think about family, financial wealth, relationships, career – be aspirational.
Step 3: Stick the photos down and put the board where you can see it often. The kitchen is a good place, or any space you frequent.
When I first did this I thought I was being ‘materialistic’ because of some of the images I put on my board. But soon I began to realise that I had been dumbing down what I wanted due to a lack of self-confidence. Images of happy children for example feed your subconscious desire to make sure your children are in a healthy (as much as possible) co-parenting situation. This makes it less likely that you will slip into negative thought patterns as your focus is on what you DO want, rather than what you DON’T want.
You can’t be motivated by what you want if you haven’t made some life choices and taken the time to remind yourself of your vision for the future – as if it existed right now.
We may want to remind ourselves of what can happen if we go off track. Listening to the stories of children of divorce is a powerful reminder of where we don’t want to end up.
A personal, delightful and moving account of being a teenager and coping when parents split.
This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences.
67% of children of divorce said they should have a voice: only 19% said their views were included (Resolution) – shared stories by children for children at Voices in the Middle
A powerful story by John Stebbing about how the children avoided suffering by their parents using a better way to divorce.
SuzyMillerCreator of Best Way To Divorce. International Divorce Divorce Strategist and TEDx Speaker.
6th March 2022
27th September 2023