If You Can’t Be Amicable, Be Civil*
If You Can’t Be Amicable, Be Civil*
Whether it’s the end of a long-term relationship or a divorce that you’re going through; break-ups are difficult emotionally, and can be a financial challenge. Even though it’s a time that will be led by your heart and emotional feelings; you need to ensure that you have your head screwed on, so that you can protect yourself financially, and have a fresh start without any money worries. Even though your emotions will be running high, it’s worth keeping a level head wherever possible so that you can ensure the process is no more painful than it already is.
Some decent communication, calm planning, and future planning, are the best ways to move forward with your life successful. Therefore, it’s time to begin the process, and make some potentially brave decisions that will have a positive impact on your life. The following are some areas to consider when you’re going through a split, and saying goodbye to a relationship and need a little assistance with the logistics, finances, and any potential future plans.
If You Can’t Be Amicable, Be Civil
Nobody enjoys the process of dividing belongings and assets; therefore, the more amicable you can be about the situation, or at least, civil, the easier the time will be. Don’t make rash decisions in the heat of the moment, and ensure that you don’t end up arguing over insignificant things because of hurt feelings. Work out exactly what belongs to you first so that you can remove those things from the situation. Next, discuss the larger items in your relationship; you may have to do this with a lawyer, which will ensure that you have a clean break and learn how to save your assets and money.
Try to remember that not every legal decision made during your break-up will seem fair; however your ex-partner will be feeling the exact same way, and you’ll need to accept the result in order to move forward with your life. You don’t want to end up regretting the time that you wasted arguing and fighting the legal process; the quicker your finances are sorted out, the quicker you can begin a new chapter in your life.
When It’s Time To Begin Rebuilding
Planning your income to suit your new circumstances is essential. You may have to downsize your accommodation, or look into apartments for rent for singles, and your weekly lifestyle will need to adjust to your new finances. If you’ve been left in a bad financial situation, after legal fees and deposits on new rental properties, you may have found yourself in debt, and with a terrible credit rating. It’s worth doing some serious financial planning, and calling on those who can help you get back on your feet again.
Seeking out a new area to live, and changing the car that you drive, are ways to cut the costs of living; and are also routes to forgetting the past and starting again, which will help you heal emotionally and financially. So, remember that each new step is a positive one, and heading in the direction of your new life.
Being Strong And Cutting Ties
The hardest part of any breakup is the feeling of loss, so it’s always tempting to check on your ex and see what they’re up to. Searching through someone’s social media to find out where they are and what they’re doing isn’t going to help you move forward to the next stage of your life. So, to close the chapter on your relationship; you need to delete their social media accounts, along with any phone numbers and email addresses. It’s going to be difficult; but you’ll cut out the temptation of making contact with your ex, which will help you to stop thinking about the relationship so you can move forward more quickly. Check out some advice online and learn what to do regarding social media and your ex. Constantly checking up on anyone is an unhealthy habit, especially if it’s an ex-partner, so stop it and cut all ties.
Make The Most Of Your Support System
Often, breakups can lead to a person spiraling into a poor state of mental health and unhealthy lifestyle choices and habits. If your friends and loved ones are voicing their concern at your behavior after a breakup; listen to them and seek help as soon as possible. There are plenty of places that offer people the help, support, and the road to recovery if they find themselves in a vicious circle of detrimental behavior. Use the support of your family and ask them to help you make the changes you need to regain your life and move forward successfully. Loved ones are there to advise you and only want the best for your physical and mental health, so don’t shut them out and embrace what they have to say.
Use Your Experience To Grow Stronger
When you feel that you’re in a stronger mind space and feel confident in your position in life again; you can begin to reflect on your past relationship. Remember that you have broken up because you were not right for each other; but, think about anything you could have handled differently so that you can improve and grow as a person. Looking back over some of the negative habits you and your ex may have got into can be a positive thing as you’ll be able to spot them and avoid them from happening with your future first dates and partner. Don’t over analyze everything somebody said out of upset or anger; this will only make you feel low, and often things are said without meaning during the heat of an argument.
There’s no point dwelling on your past; learn from it, seek the right help and advice, and move forward with your head held high ready for what life can bring next. The break-up process won’t have been an easy ride, but if you’ve made it out of the other side with a roof over your head, and you’re still working, you’re successful already. Ensure that you keep planning your next steps carefully, and don’t make any purchase or big decisions when you’re feeling overwhelmed and emotional. By implementing changes when you have a cool head, you’ll end up making wise choices, which will stand you in good stead for your future life.
- contributed post
suzyMillerCreator of Best Way To Divorce. International Divorce Divorce Strategist and TEDx Speaker.
6th March 2022
1st December 2023
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