Divorce First Aid for friends and co-workers
Divorce First Aid for friends and co-workers
10 simple and immediate tools to keep handy in your Divorce First Aid Kit, so that you can steer your family, friends and work colleagues away from an adversarial divorce:
1/ Homeopathic Arnica and Aconite
Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in “Eat, Pray, Love“ : “I didn’t want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.”
But there are consequences when friends, family or work colleagues travel the journey of divorce or family breakup. And there is always a bit of a fuss.
Shock is the first stage you go through in divorce – so you may notice friends, family and work colleagues behaving as if “it hasn’t quite registered yet”, or they appear to be walking through a constant fog and to not really be their usual selves. It’s important to recognise this and not to expect the same level of performance.
Divorce is a form of bereavement, with the same intensity of emotional and psychological effects.
Arnica is useful for all those bumps and accidents that may increase when a person is in this state of shock and confusion. But it won’t heal a bruised heart. However, homeopathic Aconite helped me with the shock of my own family separation, and other remedies from my Homeopath helped me deal with constant weaping. Help comes often from sources you wouldn’t expect, so stay open to what can help those divorcing friends and colleagues, whatever form it takes, and don’t let your own prejudices or judgements get in the way.
According to a study done by the American Journal of Psychiatry, blood pressure and cholesterol levels rise with divorce and the risk of heart disease and coronary failure increases sharply. Divorced men end up with at least twice as high a risk of suicide as their married counterparts.
So be aware of that amongst colleagues at work. For example: If you are going out – invite them to come along. If they don’t accept, at least they’ve been asked. Like bereavement, divorce tends to isolate people, because other people don’t know what to say or do. Please overcome your awkwardness – it could be a matter of life or death.
(First published in the Winter issue of JUNO – www.junomagazine.com. Articles continued in the Spring issue of JUNO, available from 1 March – order now at https://shop.junopublishing.
Suzy Miller is the Alternative Divorce Guide and creator of www.LivingTogetherAgreement.com and Starting Over Shows.
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6th March 2022
1st December 2023
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