Bouncing Back After A Break Up *
Bouncing Back After A Break Up *
You can’t really sugarcoat it. Whether amicable or confrontational, a breakup or the ending of a marriage can feel almost like a physical blow to your body. After all, they do not call it a broken heart for nothing.
After a break-up, it is entirely reasonable to feel a vast range of emotions, including sadness, stress, anger, rejection, numbness, pain, hurt and betrayal, and more than one of them at the same time. These feelings can have a significant impact on your emotional and physical health, leaving you feeling lethargic and depressed, vulnerable, and isolated. It will lower your interest in going out and doing the things that you usually love. You may also find that you feel a lot more hesitant and insecure about meeting new people, and your self-confidence can take a bit of a beating.
However, while moving on from your ex-partner or spouse may seem like a next to the impossible task at the moment, we guarantee that by following some of these simple strategies, the heartbreak and pain from your separation will begin to ease, allowing you to start to feel better about yourself and look forward to a bright future without your ex.
Ready to find out how to bounce back after a break-up? Let’s go!
Harness the power of friendship
When you are mourning the end of a relationship – and yes, for many people, it is a grief-like stage, you may want to wrap yourself up in your biggest comforter and hide away from the world. However, moping around eating ice cream from the tub and drinking too much wine might make you feel better in the short-term, but in the longer term, it is not going to help. Stop saying no to those invitations for a chat over a coffee, go out and get your hair done or go shopping with your pals, and hit the movie theater to see the latest comedy. Research has shown that people who use humor in a stressful situation will generally feel less isolated and more positive, and going out with friends will make you feel loved and supported.
Cut out the toxic people
Sometimes, the period following a break up can be an excellent opportunity to reevaluate your circles and see who is a radiator and who is a drain. A radiator is someone in your life who brings you warmth and comfort, while a drain takes all of your positive energy and pours it away. If you have any drains or anyone who does not add value to your life, maybe now is the time to think about removing them from your circles. Surround yourself with people who love you, support you, and make you happy.
Indulge in some self-care
Self-care is important to everyone all of the time, but when you are grieving over the end of a relationship, it is more than just important – it is essential. Spend some time taking care of yourself and showing yourself a bit of extra love, especially if who you have separated from you did not show you much love.
Self-care can take many forms. Firstly, think about your health. If you have put off any important health checks such as PAP tests, eyesight checks, or visiting the dentist, now is the time to go and get those done. Following a breakup, you may also want to think about your sexual health, particularly if you are thinking about your future love life. Go and have checks for things such as genital herpes. It might feel embarrassing, but they can literally be life and future relationship savers.
Self-care can also be indulging yourself in the things that you love the most and the things that make you happy. Too often, we imagine self-care to be lounging about in a big hot bath full of bubbles, with a glass of wine, a face mask, and a book and being surrounded by candles. For some people, that is self-care, but do not think that is all that the term means. It may be going for a long walk on the beach or in the countryside. It may be doing some yoga or hitting the gym. It may be painting your nails or spending just a little longer on your skincare regime in the morning. Self-care is exactly what it says – taking care of yourself and putting yourself first in any way that you feel is appropriate and makes you feel good. What better excuse is there than a breakup to do that?
Have a good cry
So far, we have been all about the positivity – going out with friends, doing the things you enjoy, and taking care of yourself, but let’s face it, breaking up with someone sucks, and very few people find that they can be positive all the time after one. Expressing your emotions is essential – in fact, it is a necessity if you want to be in charge of your mental health and get over your sadness. If you need to have a good ol’ cry, have one. By letting out that grief and sadness, you make room for positivity and happiness. So, stick on the sad songs, grab the box of tissues and have a cry if you need to!
Download a bounce back playlist
Okay, back to the positivity now, and the power of music. Music can be Herculean in its ability to conjure up emotion. When you need a cry, as we mentioned above, go for the big ballads. When you want to feel good and positive, reach for your bounce back playlist. Here are our suggestions for the perfect bounce back playlist:
- Shout Out To My Ex – Little Mix
- I’m Every Woman – Chaka Khan
- I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
- Shake It Off – Taylor Swift
- Survivor – Destiny’s Child
- Roar – Katy Perry
- Titanium – David Guetta and Sia
- Stronger – Kelly Clarkson
- You’re So Vain – Carly Simon
- I Want To Break Free – Queen
- Fighter- Christina Aguilera
- No Scrubs TLC
The end of a relationship can spark lousy eating habits from binge eating to a complete loss of appetite. Try to eat a minimum of five portions of fruits and vegetables daily alongside some lean proteins and whole grains. When your physical health is in tip-top shape, your mental health is much more likely to be as well. However, if you did feel like reaching for that tub of Ben and Jerry’s once in a while, do it. In fact, research suggests that in moderation, dark chocolate can be good for your emotional health. It contains a type of antioxidant called a polyphenol, and these are known for helping you to feel calmer and more content – precisely what you want and need following a breakup
Try out a new hobby
Whether good or bad, a relationship can be incrediblt time-consuming. You are both busy at work, or caring for kids, so when you get free time, you want to spend it together on shared interests. However, if there is something that you have always wanted to try your hand at, but your ex-partner was not keen, now is your time to give it a go. Who knows who you will meet doing your new hobby?.
Bounding back after a breakup can be heard, but by putting some of these ideas into practice, you will soon begin to feel brighter and see that you have a future ahead of you. What is stopping you today?
* This is a contributed post and may contain affiliate links
SuzyMillerCreator of Best Way To Divorce. International Divorce Divorce Strategist and TEDx Speaker.
6th March 2022
6th June 2023
Your Relationship Guru: Celia Conrad
Your Relationship Guru: Celia Conrad Helping you heal from the pain of break-up and personal loss and create positive lasting change. Celia Conrad is a relationship expert. She has a diploma in relationship coaching, is an accredited break-up and divorce coach practitioner and master practitioner (specialising in domestic abuse), a certified grief educator and certified […]Read More
Parenting Conflict Resolution Expert: Jenni Rock Coaching
Jenni Rock Coaching Parenting Conflict Resolution Expert I help those parents to escape the war that started with their Divorce Proceedings I spent 15 years living with a very challenging person who taught me the kind of relationship I never wanted to have again. Once that ended, we had to co-parent as best we could. […]Read More
Does your Workplace have a Separating Families Policy for Divorcing Parents?
Did you know that in a 2014 study for the Nashville Business Journal, they found that in the 6 months leading up to and during the year of a divorce, an employee’s productivity is reduced by 40% and will suffer on some level for the next 7 years. Not only that, but there is an impact on the […]Read More
Infidelity? It’s none of my business
The shock of the breakup was so sudden, so extreme, that normal behaviour would have seemed inappropriate The events that lead up to it should have left clues, but they didn’t register: The bank letters addressed in his name that I didn’t open because I’d learned that it was, apparently, none of my […]Read More
A Strange Gift: Unplanned Solo Parenting It’s a January morning in 2003 and I can’t bring myself to take the kids to school. What will I say when someone asks me “How are you?” The answer, you see, is just not the stuff of polite conversation. “W E L L… My partner of […]Read More
what is family arbitration?
Family arbitration can be a powerful tool in the peace toolbox, whether you are divorcing in the UK, US, Australia, Canada – or anywhere else arbitration exists. Compared to going to court, arbitration – also known as having a ‘private judge’ – saves the money and a whole load of time. What’s really important, is […]Read More
why should I do a DIY divorce?
Online divorce or – even cheaper – just going to get the paperwork from the courts and doing it all yourself – is the least expensive way to get a divorce, providing neither party is going to disagree with any aspect of the divorce. In other words, if you have no complicated assets – like pensions […]Read More
what is DIY divorce?
There are two varieties: DIY out of court – which means you get the necessary paperwork from your local family courthouse, fill it in, submit the forms and if both of you agree on everything then hey presto, it’s all done and dusted. Of course you will need to wait two years after an official separation […]Read More